Improve your soil
Just as it is impossible to grow a beautiful garden in sand or clay, it is impossible to live a beautiful, rich life if you don’t give yourself the opportunity to grow. Start where you are, with what you have to work with, and then add to it.
To improve clay soil, you must add organic material and continue to add more as it decays. The organic matter adds nutrients to the soil and helps to convey water to the plants. If you continue to add organic matter over years, you will end up with rich, nourishing soil.
If you are contemplating divorce (or are in the middle of it) remember to take care of yourself. In a crisis, we usually take care of everyone else and make sure that things keep running. But remember, if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else. This is a really hard time, so be kind to yourself.
There are physiological changes that come with stress, and divorce definitely qualifies as a stressful event. When stressed, the thinking part of your brain gets hijacked by the amygdala, the primal and reactive part of your brain. You literally cannot think effectively when you are stressed. Studies have shown a decrease of 10-15 IQ points during stressful situations. The good news is this loss of IQ points is temporary. You can get a handle on your stress and claim those 15 points back by taking care of yourself.
Take stock of your life and take action.
We all know what we need to do… exercise, eat right, get enough sleep, blah, blah, blah. Do what you can but don’t let the “shoulds” become another source of stress. At the same time, don’t overindulge yourself and cause yourself further problems down the line by eating or drinking too much or going on a shopping spree.
Laugh/Have some fun.
According to the Mayo Clinic laughter has great short term affects as well as long-term effects. Laughter will lower your blood pressure and reduce stress hormone levels. It also triggers the release of endorphins creating a general sense of well-being. Find a few simple items, such as photos, greeting cards or comic strips, that make you chuckle, and hang them up at home or in your office. Keep funny movies, books, magazines or comedy videos on hand for when you need an added humor boost. Look online at joke websites. Go to a comedy club.
Learn something new.
Learning is crucial for happiness. It causes a rush of dopamine, the happiness chemical. You don’t have to enroll in a college course to get the benefits. All it takes is 15 minutes a day or less. You can learn 1 new word a day on the Dictionary app. Or watch Ted ED to learn “the scientific way to cut a cake” or “how money laundering works.” (Not that I recommend either of those to improve your health.) Sharing your newfound knowledge will help it stick and make the benefits even more life changing.
Have an attitude of gratitude.
Scientists have documented a wide range of benefits that come from gratitude. Research-based reasons for practicing gratitude include, improved moods, reduction of anxiety and depression, lower blood pressure, stronger immune system, aches and pains are less bothersome, and sleep is improved.
If you take care of yourself, and improve your soil, you could come out of this better than ever!
About the author:
Bev Banfield is a CPA, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, and founder of Banfield Divorce Financial Advisors. The Denver-based company was established to help divorcing couples more easily and equitably separate their finances. Banfield has more than 30 years of experience in financial analysis, budgeting, and auditing. Contact us for more information at (303) 482-1726 or bev@bbdfa.com. Connect with me on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/bbanfield/